Because of my life and my family’s background, I feel I fit the demographics for someone who should be aggressively assessed for viral infections… as well as any other prevalent disorder the the Indigenous are known to suffer from. 





I don’t understand how I can be the only person amongst all the people involved that has thought of this possibility… nor do I believe they missed this.





To be perfectly blunt, with all I’ve learned, I do not see how this could be missed by any trained physician.





As I’ve said, I have a long story to tell somebody… and I want it understood that I blame Karen’s doctors… and my doctors, for what I believe was her preventable death… and all I’ve suffered as a result of this horrendous medical care we both received.





Though I didn’t know I was contagious because of my lowered immune response, I also blame myself. As far as I’m concerned, I may have inadvertently played a part in my friend becoming sick and passing away… so I should be held responsible as well.





If it helps you to know this, I feel like I’m in perpetual hell… and I deserve that.





Please read everything I’ve prepared, as I feel it will show you much of what has transpired and why I feel so betrayed by those involved. 





It’s my hope, that after reading this, if you feel what I’m saying is possible, then I would greatly appreciate any assistance or suggestions you can provide. 





Also, I just want you to know I have much documentation and records that I feel supports all I’m implying. Believe me when I say I fully understand the seriousness of the implications I’ve made.





Please understand that nobody is sent to all these medical departments and specialists without reason or for any psychiatric condition, and yet I still have not received an assessment from a specialist of Infectious Disease.





I believe this is because those involved do not want to be viewed as liable for lack of a proper medical investigation, diagnosis and treatment, which then led to Karen’s death.





Keeping that in mind, why have I yet to be investigated fully for viral and parasitic infections, based on my familial and personal background? Why have I yet to obtain a complete physical examination? 





It is these two questions that cause me the greatest concern.





As for my substandard educational level, which is Grade 9, and the CNS symptoms I’m experiencing, I’ve gone about as far as possible in learning all I can about my medical history.





What I can say is, I finally found a doctor who agrees with me and is now treating me for Shingles finally, though after all this time, and all the improperly prescribed medications that aggravated my condition, I ended up with much physical damage to my health.





I’m receiving the medication that Karen never received… and I just received two vaccinations for Shingles, which most likely would have helped Karen… and she would still be here.





I hope this helps all of you understand the depth of the sense of responsibility and guilt I feel everyday. It’s unbearable, to say the least. I know by sharing this, I leave myself vulnerable to trolls. This is why I’m sharing the truth with all of you, because if I’m to be judged by people, then they may as well judge me in a correct manner, rather than forming hypothetical assessments of someone they know nothing about. 





Now you know the hell I lament in… and why the total mishandling of my medical care possibly led to the death of my former girlfriend, Karen.





And I feel so responsible.😭





I was so happy to be accepted by Karen and her daughter. I really thought it was a sign of better times to come. 





Instead, Karen is gone and all that’s left is a sick, scared and lonely 56 year old man who just wants to crawl under a rock at the present moment. 





I cry everyday for Karen, as I am right now. Believe me when I say that nobody needs to make me any worse hurt because I truly doubt that’s at all possible.





So please feel free to share this post, because quite honestly, it doesn’t matter to me because I’m so tired carrying this damned weight on my back.





I really am😔.





If any of you want to message me, I'd actually appreciate it. The truth is, I've been desperately lonely since Karen passed and life is so different now.